


1. Exercise

by GideonGraystairs



Series: 146 Things To Do Besides Self-Harm [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood-centric, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst and Feels, Drabble, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 23:04:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11861484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GideonGraystairs/pseuds/GideonGraystairs
Summary: It was a start.This is a series of unrelated drabbles, meaning they can all be read separate.





	1. Exercise

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to [Tumblr](http://raphaelsantiago.co.vu)

He ran until his feet hurt, the aching pain a dull throb along his heels until it crescendoed into the irritating pinch of blistered skin. He didn’t stop even then, though, welcoming the discomfort with open arms and steady whispers of “ _this is good, this is better, this is healthy_ ” under bated breath. Because it was— this pain was good and it was  _better_  and it was  **healthy** and that was what he would cling to whenever his mind drifted towards the silver ruination in his bathroom drawer.

He couldn’t think about it. If he thought about it, he thought about Magnus’s face were he to find out— which he surely would if they really did end up moving in together —and the way Jace looked at him like he was broken glass just waiting to be stepped on. If he thought about it, he thought about his sister’s increasingly concerned prying and the way he sometimes dipped too deep, let too much go, and almost lost himself completely. If he thought about it, he thought about how it cut at more than just his skin.

So he didn’t. Instead, he counted his steps as they pounded against the forest floor of the trail and breathed evenly in once and out twice, in once and out twice, in once and out twice. He moved his eyes rhythmically from the dirt below to the trees above and back again. He thought about the way his sneakers had begun to rub away the skin on the heels of his feet and the corners of his toes and the way his lungs screamed for air he couldn’t give them. A better pain, a healthier pain. A start.

It was a  ** _start._**


End file.
